Chapter 19

RR through our eyes (Chapter 19)

 

A big thanks to Mano (Multimedia) for the edits.

Recap:  “Yes I can understand. Rudra Pratap Ranawat is synonymous with anger and outburst. But Myrah will come around. Don’t worry about that. After all she is Paro. And once her memory comes back everything will be alright “ Sunehri’s husband (Aman) put in words of comfort

 

“Haan. It is easier said than done. I wonder when everything will return to normal “ Rudra confided in the single soul who stood by him through thick and thin.

 

 

 

Now: Aman was still with BSD. And still in Birpur. Sunehri and him had got married a few years back. After the Shantanu fiasco it was not easy for Kakisa and Kakusa to trust a groom for Sunehri. Particularly for Kakusa it was as if he had lost faith in mankind. He could still not come to terms with the fact that somebody could put on such an act and win everybody’s trust in a family. And hurt his princess. Sunehri was the one closest to her father. Her brothers were much elder to her. Samrat was in his own world plagued with the taunts of his mother and trying to stand independent in this world. Whereas Sumer was nothing like his father. The only child of his who could bring happiness and sunshine into their family, the only person in the family who was spared Mohini’s sarcastic comments. The only one who had the courage to go and hug Rudra for the first time. Kakusa’s jigar ka tukda.  And Kakusa literally broke down the day Sunehri was hurt by Shantanu. And looking at his state Aman did not want to put forth his desire to marry her lest it gets declined then and there.

 

What happened in the following days was a nightmare. For everybody. And it was a few years later when Sunehri parents could still not decide on a groom for her that Aman decided to act. Aman who had seen only suffering and treachery in his job. Aman who had lost his parents in a young age. Who could also not have the luck to be with his sister for long. Who was a reserved person. Dedicated to his job. Aman knew they were not similar at all. She was a chirpy carefree immature girl. Whereas he has been mellowed down to the point of being a recluse by live’s hardships and the reality which he witnessed as part of BSD. Maybe himself and Sunehri are a mismatch. But he knew opposites attract. And he felt the attraction. May not be the one which poems and romantic novels talk about. May not be love at first sight. May not be the soul connection which very few have the luck to feel. But for him this will do. All Aman wanted was one happy soul to be with. A simple person who can lift his spirits. Be with him always. Loyal and supportive. Aman was not looking for a whirlwind romance or a love written in novels. He just wanted to be home everyday to a person who will allow him to be happy. A person who herself will be happy all the time. A person who has an infectious joy around her. Who else than Sunehri ? Inspite of being Mohini's daughter, inspite of seeing all the anger, hatred and sarcasm all her life - turned out to be the sunshine of the house. Who always had a smile for him. For everybody. Who wanted all around to live in harmony. Who never had a care about this world. Aman wanted to bring the smile back on her face. Which she lost after what Shantanu did.

 

Thus Aman who always had a soft corner for her came forward – rather timidly - with his proposal. To Rudra first. And Rudra was more than happy. And he took Kakusa into confidence. Having known Aman for years the decision was easy for Kakusa. It was not that easy to convince Mohini. But together they could. And what helped was Sunehri’s dream of marrying a Vardiwal. And Sunehri was more than happy. And so it was decided to arrange the wedding. The first celebration in the family which went into mourning the day they lost the purest of souls to the villain. A celebration which changed the look and feel of the haveli. A celebration which was such a joyous event for young Dhruv and Koel. And a year later they were blessed with a baby boy. Saurabh. A younger brother for the kids in the haveli. Ofcourse the family could meet them only once in a while. But it helped that they were confident that Sunehri was in the right hands. As Paro always says “Bhagya”. Sunehri’s Bhagya !!

 

Cutting to the present, Rudra had confided all his findings about Paro only in Aman. He could not tell his Bhabhisa. Not that she was not trustworthy. But it was difficult for her to keep the promise. If she knew Myrah is her Paro she will not be able to keep it to herself. She would have rushed to Myrah immediately and hugged her tight. Become quite emotional. And vVery soon she would have told Paro the entire truth and Rudra could not let that happen. He could not have told anybody else in the family. Not even Kakusa. He was not as close to anybody as Aman. And Aman for one will keep the secret till the end. So no worries in that front.

 

Being from BSD both of them had listed down all the findings and came to the same conclusion that Myrah is Paro. Her nightmares explained in the video messages, her behaviour when sedated, her loss of memory, her accident at the exact time of Paro’s all point to the truth. That Myrah is Paro. And Rudra was convinced. And Aman was almost sure though he still had some nagging questions in his mind. It is quite possible that Rudra had them too but Rudra interacted with Myrah personally. And he knew Parvathi better than anybody. And Aman believed in Rudra’s analysis and conclusion anyday than his own.

 

“Let us hope for the best Sir. Am sure once Myrah’s parents are here and they get to know you and Dhruv things will fall in place” Aman voiced his opinion. Aman still addressed him as Sir. Inspite of Rudra himself asking Aman to call him by name. Old habits die hard.

 

“Is there any update from the hospital about what happened seven years back ? I could not get any help from BSD to look into the same.” Aman sounded sad that he could not help

 

“That is fine Aman. I have already assigned one of my detectives onto the task a week back. But unfortunately he could not find anything yet. In the fire which happened in the BSD hospital two years back many documents were destroyed. He is still checking it out.” Rudra replied and then added ” My present concern is how to get through the wedding without any major debates and disagreements. This Sunday Myrah’s parents will be here. “

 

For once Aman could see Rudra thinking of how to impress somebody in his life, though he still did not put it in so many words. The Rudra he knows does not care what others think about him. He is a go getter. And a man with strong beliefs and convictions. And he does not mince words or try to please anybody. He can be the Jallad when it comes to taking what he wants.

 

But no one has any power over what time can achieve. Rudra has to make some changes to his attitude and behaviour since it is now about Parvathi. And the thought that Rudra is trying to woo her and her parents made Aman smile. And Rudra did not miss it. He knew the reason behind it. But decided to ignore the smile. And he went to Dhruv’s room to check on his homework.

 

 

 

 

 

 

And Aman the sweet person that he is, decided to let the matter go. Did not pursue it. It was after so many years that he is seeing a not so brooding Rudra. Yes Rudra was worried about the impending meeting on Sunday. But he was at peace. Content. Happy if you can say it – though smile was a rare visitor to Rudra’s face always !!

 

The fact that Paro is alive and that Rudra could find her again. That destiny brought her to his haveli. That they are close to being together again has changed Rudra’s disposition a lot. And nobody was happier than Aman. It had pained him to see the person whom he admired and loved so much go through such pain. A person who has seen nothing but sadness , betrayal and contempt in his younger days.  It was heart wrenching to see Rudra lose something so precious in a matter of days. Rudra was lucky to get what was clearly out of bounds even in his wildest dreams – a chance to love and be loved by Paro. And just as he started enjoying the abundance of love bestowed on him by Paro – it was snatched away so cruelly. Aman himself felt the pain and spent many sleepless nights. He could not even imagine what Rudra was going through.

 

Aman was transported back to those dark days. The day Parvathi was attacked by Shantanu. How Rudra had rushed her to the hospital. How Aman had been by Rudra’s side the entire night and the next day. He still remembers waiting outside the operation theatre. Such was the stillness in the place that he could hear their hearts beating. Each breath taken. Death lurking in the corners made the atmosphere eerie. There were other patients also getting operated on the same day. So quite some people waiting outside the OR. But still the place was so silent. As if people were scared that the beloved of the first one to talk will be taken away by the God of death.

 

Death and prospective death force people to relook at their priorities. Make them reflect on their behaviour in the past. What they could have done right. Where they went wrong. What could have been better. And Rudra did the same sitting in that hospital corridor. Aman remembered how much guilt Rudra felt those hours. For not protecting Parvathi. For not treating her properly from the beginning. For making her go through the hate wedding. For pushing her away not once but multiple times. For testing her love. For erupting on her like a volcano at the drop of a hat. For blaming her for all the wrong things – starting from supporting Tejawat, to burning Dilsher’s room to leaking the photo to papers. Blamed her even for the right things she did – putting on an act to convince the NGO workers and requesting Singh Sir to give Rudra the job back. Tears flowed freely from Rudra’s eyes that night. Tears which did not help the situation. Tears which could not take the clock back. Tears which did nothing but kept flowing out.

 

Till the doctor came and delivered the shattering news. Then Rudra went still. Like a rock.

 

 

 

 

 

It is a well known fact that people go through four stages of grief.

• Denial
• Anger
• Depression
• Acceptance

 

For Rudra it was denial for the first few days. Even while leaving the place after setting the pyre on fire he had made a promise to Parvathi that he will wait for her – ever. As if she has just caught a bus to Birpur to see her Mamisa. And that she will be back after a day or two. He tried to remove all possible things which pointed to her departure. Literally scrubbed the floor clean himself. Put everything back in order the way Parvathi liked. Aman later came to know from Sunehri that he everyday arranged pillows and covered them with Parvathi’s dress , a blanket and hugged it telling himself and Dhruv that Maasa is sleeping and that we should not disturb her. Made religiously two plates for every meal and brought it to his room though in the end both the plates looked similar – untouched. He never allowed anybody else to wash his clothes. Every night after his bath he himself will do the chore and put them up for drying. Along with a set of Paro’s dress washed and squeezed dry. It was as if he was hoping that she will come back to help him with the mundane chores.

 

He started detesting full moons. And used to gaze at the half moons all the time. Adhoore Cheeson Mein Bhi .......It was as if Paro’s likes and dislikes have replaced his own. Every week he used to buy a new set of choodiyan for Paro. Taking great care that he selected the colours she did not have already. And some times Maithili could see some old broken bangles in their room. And the answer from Rudra when questioned was,” Stupid Paro. She never takes care of her bangles. Yesterday also she broke some. Now I need to buy a new set for her.”

 

 

 

 

 

Rudra never missed a single day in BSD. He acted as if nothing has happened. Will talk over his silent phone to his Paro at least twice a day. Used to get agitated in late evenings saying Parvathi will be waiting for him.

 

Then anger set in. After a couple of months. And that was that. For a very long time to come.  He immersed himself into work. All the time. Went relentlessly after Thakur’s men. Almost decimated them to a level that there was no chance left for Thakur to make a come back. Pursued the case against Shantanu to an extent that Rudra took a breather only after Shantanu was given life imprisonment. Except for catching Thakur everything was done by Rudra and BSD to stop all the terrorist activities.

 

This period also had him in depression in the nights. When he will drink himself to unconsciousness till the wee hours of the morning.  And then will roam around in the haveli like a Bhatakti Aatma. When he used to go and sit in the terrace for hours together. At the peak of the depression he will sing some old Hindi song - besura hi sahi. Hoping he can see Paro laugh. And then he can threaten to silence her by being so close to her that she finds it difficult to breathe. He will be in the room searching for the imaginary rat i- always magining Paro taking cover just behind him. And this routine would have continued all his life. But it was not meant to be. Bhagya of Dhruv. Else Dhruv would never have known his father’s love. News arrived on a fine morning three years back which changed Rudra’s life again. But this time for the better. A news which made him give up his job and start his own private security firm.

 

But still Rudra never reached the last stage of the grief. He was calm and composed. He was a much tamer version of his previous self. He did not drink to destruction. Lived for Dhruv. But he never accepted that Parvathi is no more. It was as if she was with him. There was no need to recreate her presence. She was with him invisible to others. He lived in his memories. Sweet ones clearly blocking out the bitter ones. Talked a lot about Paro to his Dhruv. Tried his best to make Parvathi real in Dhruv’s days through these anecdotes. It was as if Rudra knew she will come back to him – one day. And he waited patiently preparing Dhruv to recognise her then.

 

“Aman, aap yahan ho ? Everybody is waiting for you to start dinner. Come fast.” Aman was literally jolted out of his thoughts by Sunehri. His sweet innocent lively wife. It was his Bhagya that he got her in his life.

 

Dinner was fun – for the first time as far as he can remember. Even when Parvathi was around earlier atmosphere was quite tense in the haveli. Sunehri’s Maasa was not the same person as now. Never used to let any opportunity go to insult Maithili Bhabhisa. The change is her is so vast that it was difficult for Aman to believe it. They say seeing is believing. But even seeing it now for the first time did not convince him fully. But everybody else seems to go with the flow. And he decided to keep his opinions to himself.

 

The younger women sat down with the men and children. That was a first in this haveli. He looked up to see Rudra entering with Myrah. Ready to hold her lest she falls. The ever protector. Whose role is justified in this life by Parvathi returning as Myrah.

 

It gave Mythili a lot of pleasure to see the whole family together now. Too much pleasure that she immediately was scared and thought to herself, “Bhole Baaaba, Raksha Karna. Kisi Ki Nazar Na Lage Is Parivaar Ko.”