Chapter 18

RR through our eyes (Chapter 18)

A big thanks to Mano (Multimedia) for the edits.

Mornings. One of the most talked about part of the 24 hours earth takes to rotate around the sun. It is said that every morning is a chance at a new day. But what mostly happens is that a child is as happy and playful every morning as he/she was the previous day. A hopeful person is hopeful in the morning. A coward continues to be afraid in the morning. A scheming person starts thinking of new plots to trick others.

What can then make a morning different ? A nightmare ? A cherished dream ? Some incident in the night ? Yes, all these can change one’s view of the morning.

Like the nightmare Myrah had. Not once but twice. The second time it was like dejavu. She got up. Tried moving her hand. Found it in the grip of Rudra’s hand still. And the other one connected to the IV. This time around the nightmare was vivid. And Myrah tried to free both her hands making Rudra awake. Took him a few seconds to adjust to the surroundings. “Tu theek hai ?” was his first question. The question did not register in Myrah’s mind, she was still lost in the memory of the nightmare. She looked blank. Rudra asked again, "Are you okay?”

“Yeah I am fine. Had a nightmare. I was in my bridal dress. And my hands were tied. Both of them. With a rope.” Myrah answered, her voice shaky. Fear was written all over her face but it escaped Rudra as he was focusing on her words.

Rudra became suddenly alert. Has Paro’s memory returned ? Is she trying to tease him with the way he dragged her after her wedding ? He could not help smiling.

Myrah noticed his smile. “I am terrified with this nightmare. What does that mean ? And why in the world are you smiling ? I am not joking, Rudra ” She was offended.

Rudra realised his folly. This was still Myrah. “I am sorry. I should not have smiled. How are you feeling now ? I am glad you are awake. “ He extended his hand to touch her hair.

Suddenly she remembered what happened last night. The way Rudra erupted when he came to know about the change of wedding plans. The angry look on his face. She flinched. And she moved away from his approaching hand. She was not ready to be near him– yet.

Rudra noticed the small movement she made. Wsa she annoyed with him for smiling at her ? He remembered the Jaipur trip when Paro was annoyed with him and refused to talk. He cannot let that happen now. He asked Myrah to look at him. And she did – slowly. And then he realised that she was afraid of him and not annoyed. Must be the way he shouted in the night. Gosh. He had completely forgotten about the incident.

“Myrah, Kaisi Ho ?”Bhabhisa came into the room before Rudra could talk further. And then it was raining visitors into the room. Everybody enquiring about Myrah and her health. Offering her coffee, food and what not. Taking care of her comfort.

He looked at the watch and realized it was 7 am. Time to get Dhruv dressed for school. Rudra had completely forgotten about Dhruv. As if to indicate that their minds were in sync Myrah asked, “Dhruv Kahaan Hai ? He did not sleep here yesterday. Where is he ?”

“Nothing to worry. He was with me. I have asked him to get ready for the school. He is not aware of your fainting. And I did not tell him. He will be here in sometime. Koel is also getting ready. Let me know if you need anything Myrah. I will be back after some time.” Maithili said just before leaving.

One by one everybody left except Rohit. “Myrah, relax. Everything will be alright. I talked to your father yesterday night. They have got the tickets and will be here on Sunday. You just chill and take rest. “

“Do you know they asked me to not start the wedding preparations will they reach here ? How unfair. How could Dad do this ? And Mummy sided with him. “ Myrah complained

“ I think it is the right thing to do. So much has happened in the last few days. They would want to be aware of all the details. Meet Rudra before proceeding. Don’t you think ? In my view you are the one who is unreasonable. They have not asked you to stop the wedding. Just to wait till they are here. And that is definitely reasonable.” Rohit made his position very clear.

Rudra was not sure whether he can trust Rohit or not. In spite of all the changes Paro brought in, Rudra was still wary of others. Not so easy for him to trust others. Is Rohit really as straightforward as he looks ? Or does he have an ulterior motive ?

Till then Myrah and Rohit were talking as if only both of them were present in the room. And Rudra was lost in his own thoughts till he realised that they had stopped talking and was looking at him now. Obviously one of them had asked him something.

“I'm sorry. Did you guys say something ?” he asked

“ Rudra, I was just asking for your opinion. About putting the wedding on hold till Uncle and Aunt are here.” Rohit put the question forward again.

Rudra could see that Myrah was watching him closely. Probably waiting for him to give a repeat performance of yesterday. Well, he had to show more constraint now.

“Of course. We should wait. When I heard it yesterday I was upset. But I realize that she is their only child and they are concerned. I agree with Rohit. We should wait. “ Rudra explained his changed stand calmly, his eyes holding Myrah's gaze, trying to tell her that he really meant his words.

Myrah was slightly relieved. Rudra's black anger, that had scared her so much last night, seemed to be gone ... for the moment. But was it only under control because so many people were present? She didn't know what to think. Rohit asked Myrah to call her parents as soon as she felt up to doing so. And he left to attend to some conference calls.

Leaving Rudra and Myrah behind. With their awkwardness weighing heavily between them. But before Rudra could initiate a conversation Dhruv and Koel barged into their room with their long set of questions. Followed by Bhabhisa again bringing Myrah’s breakfast. Sumer offered to drop the children to the school. Then it was Shatabdi’s turn to be with Myrah. Finally Rudra gave up. He decided to wait till they could be alone and undisturbed for some time, without the risk of one or the other family member dropping into the room unannounced.

In any case Rudra had to take care of some cases related to the security agency. So he made the calls from home and took a day off. While he was on his calls, Kakisa told him that Sunehri is coming with her family. She would reach by evening.

In the palace Thakur was up as usual. He went about his usual activities though he was looking forward to the visitor. And finally the person came. And updated him about the news. About how a ghost was sighted. At least the person saw somebody looking like Parvathi in Rudra’s haveli. And that too in the bridal dress the day before. The person also showed him a picture as proof.

Thakur could not believe his eyes. There was no way Parvathi was alive. Shantanu had killed her years back. Yes she was taken to the hospital and the doctors did operate on her. But she died on the operation table. Shantanu was arrested and given life imprisonment. Parvathi is no more. Is this just a humshakal ? What are the odds of the humshakal reaching Rudra’s haveli and to be dressed like Parvathi ? This indeed was a cause of worry for Thakur himself. The case against him had to be dismissed in the absence of any witness. The written statement of Parvathi was argued as one made under duress. At least his lawyer was able to convince the judge and get the case dismissed. This humshakal can cause problems for him. He need to keep a close watch on her. Need to find out if it is indeed another person or not. He rewarded the person well and demanded that he be kept updated of the developments in Rudra’s haveli.

Back in the Ranawat haveli, everyone got busy after lunch. Kakasa, Samrat and Sumer went off for their respective work, with orders from Mohini to return home early. Kakisa and Maithili were busy getting the guest room ready for Sunehri and her family, and Myrah was sent to her room with strict instructions to rest and not strain herself.


Rudra took the opportunity to snatch some alone time with Myrah. She had been visibly upset with him in the morning, after his anger of the previous evening, and then his smiling at her nightmare ... but she had relaxed slightly when he spoke calmly about postponing the wedding. He hated it when she was scared or nervous of him. It put a distance between them, a distance he didn't like. Paro had never been scared of Rudra, not after the initial few days. Quite the reverse, she had been the only one who could face him and his temper fearlessly. And Rudra didn't like it when Myrah was scared of him. He didn't like it at all. He wanted his brave, fiery Myrah back. His Paro back. And he wanted that distance between them gone. When he reached her room with her medicines, Myrah was feeling much better. She was up and about, putting things into order and tidying up. Her drip had been taken off, leaving a small white bandage on her wrist.


Rudra saw her wince as she bent her wrist to pick up something, and came into the room swiftly.

"Silly girl, can you not sit and rest for a while? You're not supposed to strain yourself. Doctor's orders."

She continued doing what she was doing, and didn't acknowledge either him or his words. That definitely got Rudra covering the distance between them in no time. “Are you trying to avoid me ?” His voice came just behind her. Myrah was startled. She turned slowly.

“No I am not avoiding you.” She answered without looking at him

“Here take the medicine.” He stretched his hand with the medicines. She took them without looking up at his face.

Rudra felt his anger building up again, and fought to control it.

“Why are you then not looking at me ? Are you angry that I smiled in the morning ?"

“Why should I be angry with you ?" She turned away from him, still upset, but Rudra pulled her back forcefully, holding her firmly by her upper arms.


"If you're not angry with me, then why are you not talking to me?"


She was silent. His hands relaxed their hold and one hand gently went up to cup her face.


"You know I don't like it when you don't talk to me. Tell me ... what's wrong? What did I do?"


She moved her head negatively, his soft voice affecting her without her wanting it to. Without any effort from her side, as if her mind acted involuntarily, she was softening, melting ... moving closer to him unknowingly. She turned her head away from the warmth in his eyes.


"Nothing, Rudra ... I just .. don't ... don't want to talk. Just leave me for a little while, Rudra."


'"But I'm not holding you, You're holding me." came his voice again, even softer, even closer, a whisper in her ear, and Myrah looked up sharply.

She saw that he was speaking the truth. Her hand had crept up to the hand that was cupping her face, and was holding his wrist. Tightly. Her Rudraksh, which Dhruv had given her, entangled in the brown beads of his own ... as though bound together into one.

 

 

When had she moved her hand? And what was this strange melting feeling inside her, at the look in his brown eyes, as they blazed down into hers? She felt hot and cold all over, shivering yet burning, every inch of her skin feeling alive, as he looked at her deeply, as though looking into her soul. Her face felt as though it was on fire, and she couldn't speak a word, her breath stuck somewhere in her throat.

Could he see what she was feeling? Could he sense how vulnerable, how raw, how needy she felt? Not an inch of their bodies were touching, except their hands, yet she could feel his nearness, his strength, his touch ... on every inch of her ... as though he was stamping her as his, with just his look.

"You hold me without even trying," he murmured, " and then you tell me not to hold on to you? I can't let you go ... you know that. My anger ... my anger is not at you ... it's never at you. It's because I don't want to lose you."

"You won't lose me, Rudra," Myrah whispered. "I can't live without you either. I can't let you go."

"But you might have to let me go now," Rudra whispered even more softly, so close now, that his breath tickled her ear. She shook her head vigorously.

"No ... never!"

"Just for a little while," came that wicked voice again, this time with a smile in it. She looked up at him again, to see him looking at her seriously ... but with a glint in his eyes, that made her wary immediately.

"After all," he continued smoothly, "it would look very strange if we welcomed my younger sister and her husband in this position. Sunehri would, of course, be very happy ... she is very romantic ... but ... Kakisa ..."

Myrah left Rudra's hands sharply, as though she had been burnt.

"Rudra!" she gasped. "I'm upset and you're ... joking?!"

He caught her hands back immediately. Held both firmly, and looked at her, all smiles gone.

"No, I'm not joking," he said, quietly, seriously, his eyes boring deep into hers. "I meant what I said. I can never let you go. Not for a little while ... not now ... not ever."

 

She was drowning in his eyes and saved just in time by Shatabdi who walked in.

Time ticked by and before Rudra knew it was evening and Sunehri and her family were home. She took almost an hour complaining to everybody about her not being informed of Myrah’s visit and marriage plans with Rudra. A simple person that she is – it was enough to upset her that everybody forgot to inform her. Rudra was anyway looking forward to Sunehri’s visit. So he went down and made the small talk with her. Played with the kid for sometime. And then took them to Myrah’s room and introduced them. They knew Myrah looked like Paro. But still they were not prepared for the similarity to this extent.

 

After the two hours of visit Sunehri and Saurabh were taken care of by the ladies of the house and the children respectively. Rudra then asked Sunehri’s husband to follow him to the aangan.

“Why are you so upset ?” Sunehri’s husband asked Rudra.

“ Oh don’t remind me about it. You heard most of the story instead. What nobody knows is that Myrah had a call with her parents later when they asked her to put the wedding on hold till they reach the haveli. And when Myrah informed me about it I blew my top. I should not have. But there it is. And she could not take it. And she fainted. It was because of me that she fainted and not due to the overall stress as everybody assumes. Myrah is not like Paro. Paro was very strong mentally. Myrah is exactly the opposite. If she faints for just raising my voice what would she have done if she were in Paro’s place ? I need to very careful. Particularly when Myrah is around.” Rudra sounded worried

“Yes I can understand. Rudra Pratap Ranawat is synonymous with anger and outburst. But Myrah will come around. Don’t worry about that. After all she is Parvathi. And once her memory comes back everything will be alright “ Sunehri’s husband put in words of comfort

“Haan. It is easier said than done. I wonder when everything will return to normal “ Rudra confided in the single soul who stood by him through thick and thin. Aman.