Chapter 8

RR through my eyes (Chapter 8)
From Rudra's POV -


Finally Maithili Bhabhisa got what she has been waiting for all these years. A baby of her own and who was accepted by Kakisa. The former could have happened anytime Bhabhisa wanted. If only she had been more forceful. But the latter was so difficult to achieve. Paro had tried many times in the past. My Paro. Always caring for the ones she love. And her jija was somewhere at the top of the list - next to Dhruv and him. Paro could not help her Jija seven years back. But now in her new avatar she was able to. As Myrah, she was more forceful and of course influential. The worldly ways taught her that many things can be bought and twisted with the help of money sitting at home. And get things done even in the night. I need to keep the names separate even in my mind. Lest I forget and call my beloved Paro now. Already she was ready to leave when she saw Paro's face. Now Myrah thinks I hate her. Nothing can be further from the truth. How can you forget what I told when I gave you the mangalsutra ? I am not good with words. But didn't I tell you , "Main tu Hamesha ?" How can you just forget me ? Only if you remember anything about me and Dhruv when you are awake. I could have built on it and made you remember more. But how do I go about the memory now ? If you remember something only when you are drunk or in sedation and if you forget it later ? How in the world can I make you realize that you are indeed Paro ?


I was so mesmerized by your beauty when you came down that day looking like an orange flame.. Here I was trying to feed Dhruv a burnt roti and there you were standing so cheerful, so beautiful...reminding me of all that I have missed all these years. Shame on me. Our hungry son was sitting refusing to eat and all I could think of at that moment was to take you in my arms. To pull you forcefully towards me. To feel every inch of your body. To feed my own hunger. If you knew about my inner thoughts I am sure you will call me Jallad again !!


I was so sad when Rohit announced that you are going on a dinner date. Before I could protest he thankfully announced that I can tag along. There was no way I was allowing you to go out with another person.


I was looking for some sign of recognition in your eyes when you volunteered to make food for Dhruv. Any glint , any hint. Myrah. Please remember something. Our lives could be so much better only if you could remember anything.


And what I saw in the kitchen a few minutes later pierced my heart Myrah. The comfort level you shared with Rohit. The way you guys joked and worked together to make dinner for Dhruv. How am I ever going to come to terms with this Myrah ? I am not so big hearted like you were with regard to Laila. And I would have had no reasons to worry or feel jealous if you were remembering our past. But with this amnesia and your closeness with Rohit, how can I not feel the jealousy ? And I do not know this Rohit at all. Sometimes I think he is a fool. Not to see the tension between us. But then he surprised me one night and asked me straight whether he has any reason to worry about you and me. Reason to worry ? I wanted to tell him that there is no reason at all to worry. Because he is just not going to be married to you Myrah. I will never ever allow that to happen. I have suffered your separation all these years. I saw your lifeless body seven years back. My brain told me to believe it. But my mind could never listen to it. I could never accept that you have left me and gone. You always keep your word Paro. And you told me in the railway station when I was standing in the middle of the tracks that you will never leave me. You promised - remember ? And I believed you. I believed that you will come back one day. When God felt that I have suffered enough he will bring you back. And my heart was right. Here you are. But how can I say all this to Rohit ? I have no clue what kind of person he is. Is he a genuine caring friend of yours ? Is her after your money ? How can a person who never turned up even after you were kidnapped have any kind of concern for you ? I do not see any love in his eyes for you. Or for that matter any in your eyes for him. You two are comfortable with each other but I am reminded of Dhruv and Koel when I see you two. Is it my mind which is playing tricks on me ? Or is it that you both are just friends and he feels nothing more for you ? Anyway I did manage to wriggle out of the tough questions Rohit asked. Answered him in such a vague manner that he would not have understood what I meant to say. But why did he have to ask ? Couldn't he see the love I feel for you in my eyes ? Why is it that you are not open with him ? Why in the world can't you tell him that you love me ? As Myrah if not as Paro. You pretty much told me that you love me the day you wore your own gaghra. Then why did you not tell Rohit the same ? I was so angry with you at that moment. For putting me in this tough position. For leaving me alone to confront and set right the situation. Don't you know that the years we were together I could never take any decision of my own where you were concerned ? That I was good to take decisions on the spot and execute them only in BSD. Not at home with you around.

•          It was you came back to me after I set you free.
•          It was you who challenged me about not signing the papers.
•          You pushed me to start the wedding rituals.
•          You who decided to ditch me during our wedding.
•          Saved my life in the process
•          You decided to go away with Tejawat.
•          And you came back on your own.
•          You proposed to me
•          You refused to leave me
•          With Bhabhisa's help you proved your innocence
•          Forced me to put a closure to Laila's involvement
•          Saved my life from the poison
•          Decided to leave me
•          Then decided to come back to home
•          Made sure I got my closure with Maasa
•          ...

Should I list down more incidents my dear ? The only decision I ever took in my life was to tie the mangalsutra and take the saat pheras. With the help of alcohol though. Even though it was the singlemost cruel act towards you. It was the only sensible step I took where we are concerned. And now you have gone and hidden yourself somewhere in your own mind. And making it so hard for me. I stormed out of the room to escape further questioning from Rohit and whom do I run into the corridor ? You Myrah. And how could I not take out all my frustration ? Here I was torn between all my emotions and feelings and I see you happily walking around. Saying a mere sorry ? For leaving me alone to deal with the problems ? Just a sorry ? And then my dam of anger burst. And flooded you Myrah. And the when it overflowed from your tears I repented. My intention was not to make you cry. What the hell have I done ?
 
(to be continued ...)