Chapter 2

RR through my eyes (Chapter 2)
 


He was in a real dilemma. Rudra always believed in open communication. To tell what was in his mind - with Paro. Never tried to hide his emotions or thoughts from her. And she was even better. She never allowed fear, shyness or shame or ego to come in between them. Proposed in front of a packed hall to him. Which was definitely a big deal for a village girl. Even when they were on opposite sides she never refrained from telling him off. And Myrah was no different. Myrah was as open in communication as Paro.




Which made it difficult for him. If he confessed seeing her videos and how he could connect her to being Paro - this will definitely put lot of pressure on her. Yesterday when she was in the kitchen trying to learn Indian dishes and when Rohit was out exercising - Rudra sneaked into Myrah's room and collected all the old tapes. He had taken it to the city and got copies made. After keeping the originals back in their place he had gone to his office in the pretext of work and went through a few of the tapes. He could not get more info than what he already had about the dreams. But he could find out about Myrah's recurring head aches and not that frequent fainting. He pulled out the file which his team had put together for Myrah and realized that there is not much info in there except for two contact numbers - her uncle's and her doctor's. Rudra put through a call to the doctor ( in the pretext of Myrah's shock after the kidnapping and its after effect ) and understood that she had to be given heavy sedation for a few months  after she met with an accident during her trip to India a few years back. And that she also undergoes regular counseling sessions. The doctor was worried about the kidnapping and its effect on Myrah. And asked Rudra to keep him informed of any changes in her behavior. " Being her bodyguard I would request you to make sure she is not upset either physically or mentally. With great difficulty we all could pull her through to this state. Once by mistake her hands got burnt while cooking and she started screaming. A type of screaming which a normal person would not have done. From then on we are very careful about keeping her away from physical pain. Am quite upset how her uncle who let her go to India on her own. But Myrah can be difficult and persuasive. So I guess he had to relent. But please take care of her. And call me any time incase of a problem", the counsellor mentioned before saying bye.




Rudra was back home  and still in his thoughts about the day Paro burnt her hands on the stove when he heard Dhruv crying at the top of his voice. Dhruv was upset that Myrah was getting married and leaving. Rudra and Maithili did not know how to handle it. But Myrah was confident that she can. She asked the others to leave her alone with Dhruv so that she can explain. And explain she did. How she just cannot become his mother. That his mother is still around. And she loves him. And Dhruv can still contact Myrah through video messages.




Yes, Rudra thought. Myrah cannot become Dhruv's mother. Because she is Dhruv's mother. And yes, Dhruv's mother is still around. In the form of Myrah. Problem is Rudra is stuck between the devil and the deep sea. He just cannot share this with anybody at home. Neither Dhruv nor Bhabhisa. Bhabhisa is a simple soul. She cannot keep any secret from the people she loves. Neither from Rudra nor from Paro. And now not from Myrah. Last time Bhabhisa had told him about Paro's decision to leave in spite of the promise she made to Paro. And happy he was that Bhabhisa broke the promise. He can still feel the emptiness he felt searching the entire train and the railway station for Paro with no luck. Paro and her promise to Bholenath. Wait a minute !! Is that what all this is about ? Paro breaking her promise to GOD or rather Rudra making her break the promise. Is that why he has to undergo such pain of separation and so much pain of this dilemma now ? Paro asked for Rudra's cure. And was ready to leave him after his hand got cured. But he made her stay back. And asked God for Paro - forever. Did God take her away after he got cured fully ? After he got over his mother's abandonment ? After he became a father ? And is the same GOD now being kind to RUdra and granting him his wish of Paro forever ?




Paro was his strength always. Mental strength. He always was ready to crumble under pressure and she was the one to pull him out. From the darkness in his life. She is present now also but there is no way he can share any of this with her.  Oh GOD. What am I to do ?


OK my mind. Just calm down. First things first. How do I make sure the wedding with the Namoona does not happen ? Where is Myrah by the way ? I have to thank her for sorting out Dhruv's confusion. Rudra finally found her in the backyard. "Thanks Myrah. For making Dhruv understand. What I could not achieve, what Bhabhisa could not achieve in the past few days, you did it so well and so nicely. I will always be indebted to you. " Myrah turned to look at him. Her eyes brimming with tears. "Yes Rudra. You have to be indebted to me. The answer I wanted to give Dhruv was an entirely different one. I had to keep the truth from him for his own good. How could I tell him that his father can never love me even if I take seven more births ? How can I tell him that I do not feel like leaving him and his father ? How can I tell him that I can very well become his mother ? Infact I already consider him to be mine ?"




Teri tareefon ki nazar ne mujhe pukaara
Do kadam paas, aur mein pighal gayi mein pighal gayi
Shayad woh mein hunn 
Do kadam peeche...shayad woh mein hunn nahi
jise dilo jaan se tune chaha (on the one you loved more than life)
Shayad woh mein hunn (Maybe its me)
Shayad woh mein hunn nahi (maybe it isn't me)
Meine kaha... nahi mein kisi aur ki...
Ilzaam hai tujhpar...chura legayi meri nindiya ko teri pyaar!
Rangrasiya...rangrasiya...





It was more than what Rudra could handle. He had to get out before he blurted out something. So he did what he always does. Faked anger at her decision of marriage in 10 days. And started walking away from the place. When she got hold of his hand and noticed the blood. Asked him to shut up. Cleaned his wound and tied it up with a kerchief. Deja vu. What he did to Paro's hand the day after their hate wedding.
 
(To be continued...)